Once upon a time…
A tailor grew tired of the long hours sewing other people’s clothes. He tried to motivate himself by slathering a thick slice of fresh bread with strawberry jam: a reward for finishing his work.
The tailor – let’s name him Todd – worked diligently, but his treat attracted some greedy flies.
Finally, no fewer than nine flies were circling. Todd grabbed a scrap of fabric and lashed out at the flies.
“Woah! Seven in one blow. That must be some kind of record!”
Todd tailored that fabric into a belt. He embroidered his achievement: ‘SEVEN IN ONE BLOW.’ He tied the belt around his waist and felt very mighty indeed. So, Todd ate his snack, packed up some cheese, and hit the road to seek his fortune.
Along the way, a bird tried to steal Todd’s cheese. Ever dexterous, Todd caught the bird and slipped it in his pocket.
Soon after, Todd met a giant.
“Seven in one blow?” Thought the giant. “This man has killed seven people in one strike! I must prove that I am mightier.”
The giant challenged Todd to wring water from a rock. Tricky Todd squeezed his cheese instead, which emitted a thin stream of milk.
“Even better than water,” Todd taunted.
Next, the giant challenged Todd to throw a stone.
“I can throw further than you,” said Todd, and he tossed the bird, which quickly flew out of sight. The giant admitted defeat again.
“I can carry this huge tree a mile,” boasted the giant.
“That’s nothing,” replied Todd. “Together, let’s carry this tree to the next kingdom. I’ll carry all the branches.”
The giant got to work and Todd rested on the boughs. When they reached the next kingdom, the giant dropped the trunk and panted. Todd hopped off and went to the giant. The giant saw that the man hadn’t broken a sweat and ran away ashamed.
Todd shrugged. He figured that now he had bested a giant, he would try to win a princess. Todd made his way to the king and asked to marry his only daughter.
“Uh…who are you? Do you have any references?” The king was confused.
“I’m Todd the Adventurer! I’ve bested a giant and killed seven in one blow. I’m perfect for the position of heir to your throne!”
The king figured he might as well give this adventurer a test–either he’d pass or he’d die trying.
“If you rid my kingdom of the two ogres in the forest, I’ll let you marry my daughter. I guess.”
So the brave little tailor got to work. He pestered the ogres into killing each other, and returned to the king unscathed.
Impressed, the king let Todd marry the princess. In time, Todd inherited the throne. He was a wise and just ruler, always looking out for the little entrepreneurs in his kingdom.
That’s the story of the world’s first resume.